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View Full Version : Seriously I broke up with my GF...



Daniel
06-16-2008, 04:51 PM
So, I know there have been some funny threads on here lately regarding random things.

But I really did just break up with my GF of 4 years over the weekend.

I don't even know why I'm typing this thread on a public message board to a bunch of random strangers I hardly even know, but you guys have always been supportive of other members and I just kinda need to vent.

I'm an emotional wreck.

I miss her. I love her and I wish her the best and I want her to be happy. I just feel like our relationship isn't wasn't working anymore. I had to do something for myself for once and end it.

I hope I'm strong enough to keep following through and not talk to her. I feel that if we talk and hear her voice then I will just end up going back again.

[\emo]

fiaevo.com
06-16-2008, 04:58 PM
Take it easy man, hope all turns out well.

DirectorSe7en
06-16-2008, 05:02 PM
Well what happened specifically? Sometimes the best way to keep your chances with her open is to understand her point of view.

Daniel
06-16-2008, 05:07 PM
I just felt that our relationship was mostly a one way road. I mean, there was minimal give and take, but I felt that I was the one doing most of the giving.

There's been plenty of opportunities for everything to change, but it never happened.

I totally understand her and where shes coming from, but in the end I just felt that it was time to take care of ME and not her all the time.

I just hope she understands. I know she still wants us to be together, but I don't feel that I can disrespect myself and my decision by going back to her.

Even if she says she will change, I still feel like its too much of an emotional risk to put myself out there like that...

sigh...

:(

stockEVO8
06-16-2008, 05:10 PM
time to get drunk... :lol:

Daniel
06-16-2008, 05:11 PM
haha, yeah for sure. Ive been drunk all weekend. :?

MarkSAE
06-16-2008, 05:27 PM
That's tough man.Â* I'm currently in a similar situation, but you've taken the next step.Â* I'm still on the fence.Â* How long did you think about breaking up w/ her before actually doing it?

Daniel
06-16-2008, 05:32 PM
The thought's been crossing my mind for over a year now at least. I didn't really start to give it serious thought till about january or february of this year. I tried to leave her once already, but I ended up going back to her.

peter
06-16-2008, 05:38 PM
nce meet at centerfolds sf!

player67
06-16-2008, 05:49 PM
nce meet at centerfolds sf!


+1000000000000000000000000000000000

homi mike
06-16-2008, 07:05 PM
That's tough man.Â* I'm currently in a similar situation, but you've taken the next step.Â* I'm still on the fence.Â* How long did you think about breaking up w/ her before actually doing it?




The thought's been crossing my mind for over a year now at least. I didn't really start to give it serious thought till about january or february of this year. I tried to leave her once already, but I ended up going back to her.





I am in the similar situation as well. I just don't see anything would happen to us in the future and feels like I am wasting my and her time. She just keeps demanding for my attention endlessly and to be honest, I am tired of it and I need to have my own life back instead of it's always her. It's a endless giving from me. We have been together for 20 months and I have had the thought of leaving her for almost everyday since 8-9 months ago...I just couldn't do it because I am afraid I still care about her and she would end up doing something to hurt herself.

Be good and stay cool, and stay away from talking to her and anything that brings back the memories of your last relationship.

06IXMR
06-16-2008, 08:31 PM
I took the big step and broke up with my gf of 2 and a half years. Sometimes its just something you need to do and just live with it. Never regret the decisions you make since thats how its going to be. I know its hard at first but, it'll get easier as you go out and have fun with the guys and slowly get back into the dating scene.

I know I enjoy dating around as theres just fun and games now, no worries about anything. Life is short and you should have fun :]

Kudos.

DoggDicker
06-16-2008, 08:48 PM
If she is not being supportive of your needs, then she needs to know this, which it sounds like she does, so IMO, the ball is in her court, and she needs to prove to you (why she should be with you).
It is painful to break-up after so long, but in the end it will all work out. Have fun and enjoy life...and who knows, maybe she will change her ways and fight for improving the relationship your had, since it sounds like you were serious.

DD

player67
06-16-2008, 08:52 PM
Man, it may be young to you guys, but I went through a long relationship break up when I was about 16. It was horrible, I was heartbroken for months. But honestly we are young and need to live life to the fullest!!! You will be okay man :) you will

Daniel
06-16-2008, 08:57 PM
Thanks for all the advice and kind words guys. I appreciate all the input.

I'm having a pretty rough time.

I spent everyday hanging out with her. She was my best friend as well as my girlfriend.

It's so hard to be apart just because we lived together for 2 years. I ended up just packing my stuff and moving in with my mom.

I don't know what to do with my time now since i used to just spend it all with her.

It's good that my friends and family are here to help me and support me though. I'm truly grateful to have them in my life.

06IXMR
06-16-2008, 09:15 PM
Haha, bros before hoes!

dabaysevo
06-16-2008, 11:12 PM
So NCE Official Strip club Meet? Where's Jan? We really need to do this, dude's night out.

YankInCali
06-16-2008, 11:22 PM
Guys I was in your shoes 2 years ago and in the end, breaking up in a one way relationship with no future in sight is for the best. If you're having doubts, then there's no point in going forward. You'll be dragging your gf, relationship, & most importantly yourself through the mud. There are always maybes, shoulda, coulda, wouldas, but you gotta be true to yourself and be brave enough to continue on even though you dont know what lies ahead of you. Chances are you'll leave the relationship with a lotta emo scars but in time you'll be a stronger, smarter, better person for it. Best of luck to everyone.

jdmSpecMR
06-17-2008, 12:23 PM
yo daniel keep your head up bro, im sure shit will work the way you wish it to. your a good guy and friend so dont sweat it. time to hit up jeff and go drink up :thumbsup: and nce strip club meet FTMFW!!!!!!!!!

pm me if you want to chill, drink and chat bro.

ps. jin still loves you :D

Daniel
06-17-2008, 02:32 PM
yo daniel keep your head up bro, im sure shit will work the way you wish it to. your a good guy and friend so dont sweat it. time to hit up jeff and go drink up :thumbsup: and nce strip club meet FTMFW!!!!!!!!!

pm me if you want to chill, drink and chat bro.

ps. jin still loves you :D


haha, thanks man. ive always been lucky to have such great loyal friends. we should chill sometime again.

Fa-Q
06-17-2008, 03:07 PM
I spent everyday hanging out with her...

...I don't know what to do with my time now since i used to just spend it all with her.



Big no no in ANY relationship. Sure at the beginning you want to spend every second of every day w/each other but once the infatuation stage passes you both really need lives of your own in addition to the relationship. Seriously, making your significant other your whole world isn't healthy. Remember, she can mean the world to you without actually being your whole world. My last relationship was like yours, lived together, spent everyday together, friends and lovers. Long story short we broke up. I have been dating my current GF for a little over two years now. We only see each other on the weekends and i couldn't be happier. It's all about balancing your time between yourself, you significant other, and your friends. You will appreciate all three much more and live a very fulfilled life. If you have any questions about this go see my old Psych teacher at UCLA, he tells it like it is...no bs.

jdmSpecMR
06-17-2008, 03:39 PM
yo daniel keep your head up bro, im sure shit will work the way you wish it to. your a good guy and friend so dont sweat it. time to hit up jeff and go drink up :thumbsup: and nce strip club meet FTMFW!!!!!!!!!

pm me if you want to chill, drink and chat bro.

ps. jin still loves you :D


haha, thanks man. ive always been lucky to have such great loyal friends. we should chill sometime again.


im down. :D

JanSolo
06-17-2008, 10:27 PM
Here I am. Married for 5 years. Now I have a house to myself.

Sooo what about this NCE strip club meet? When and where?

player67
06-17-2008, 10:58 PM
Here I am. Married for 5 years. Now I have a house to myself.

Sooo what about this NCE strip club meet? When and where?


+11111

Fa-Q
06-18-2008, 08:41 AM
What...NCE Vegas trip??????

panem
06-18-2008, 09:50 AM
I don't know what to do with my time now since i used to just spend it all with her.



time to work on your car with more mods!!! :)

sprytsi
06-18-2008, 09:56 AM
Find a hobby (cars!) or spend some time trying new things or activities that you used to enjoy 4+ years ago!

I had a similar problem with a g/f and broke up with her after a year and a half. She dominated my life and I lost a few great friends during that time.

Don't call her back, someone will come along and fit, just right, into your life.

dabaysevo
06-18-2008, 05:41 PM
Find a hobby (cars!) or spend some time trying new things or activities that you used to enjoy 4+ years ago!


Like having sex with different women, that used to be enjoyable, now you can do it again.

Daniel
06-18-2008, 05:46 PM
hey Daniel, now is a good time to hit lvl 70 on WoW with the rest of us!!!


haha, i sold my account days ago. Dude, i quit wow twice, and i cant go back a third time. then i really wont be able to get my social life back lol.

Thanks for all the support guys.

I talked to my ex today and explained to her that we could still be friends etc and she was ok with that. She still wants us to be together, but she respects my decision.

Now i just need to get adjusted. I havn't lived at home in over 2 years. It's weird being in my old room again.

dabaysevo
06-18-2008, 08:59 PM
It's weird being in my old room again.

Why because of the teenage fapping you used to do during puberty?Â* I can still find stains in my room.Â* :oops:

Daniel
06-18-2008, 11:18 PM
It's weird being in my old room again.

Why because of the teenage fapping you used to do during puberty? I can still find stains in my room. :oops:


lolz.

that, and the fact that it's a loft style room. no privacy.

:(

Lost Empire
06-22-2008, 08:01 PM
I understand your point ... Sometime when you love someone that much it is not easy to let it go ... for me personally I broke up with my girl 6 month ago it kill me on the inside ... we all have feeling and sometime we just have to let it out ... but I just want you to know that we go through life with emotion that we have not encounter before nor know how to handle it ... For me to solve my issue ,,, partying isn't my thing ... I just hanging out with my trusted friend that i always have ... Life isn't the same when she is not around ... Sometime you think of her ... what is she doing ? ... is she with someone else now ? Is she ok ? how is she manage to do some other thing when i am not around ? ... All I can say is life isn't easy ... we go through emotion that we don't know how to deal with it ... but over time i just come all out at one ... I talk to my ex every so often ... nothing more nothing less ... I talk to her to see if she is ok ... but i also talk to other girl as friend too ... yes i said it ... I talk to other fine young lady to get my mine of off her ... and no I didn't sleep with all of them ... but I hope you do well ... Smile dude ... Go touge or something ... grab some calamari and milk tea with you while you are at it ...

Daniel
07-07-2008, 04:35 PM
So just an update.

We have decided to to try and work things out. I love her and have invested too much time into our relationship to just it all go so easily.

I decided that it'd be better for us not to be living together anymore though.

:)

e8
07-07-2008, 11:33 PM
good luck. a relationship will never work out if either of you start feeling they are doing too much for the other without getting enough in return.

isn't love about humility/selfessness? anyway, just my thoughts.

06IXMR
07-08-2008, 10:10 PM
mmmmm rolf... good luck.

Daniel
07-09-2008, 10:30 AM
mmmmm rolf... good luck.


i think whatever luck i needed may have just run out...

:x

nebolic
07-09-2008, 10:53 AM
what do you mean.

update?

nebo

dabaysevo
07-09-2008, 11:09 AM
:lol: Throw in the towel dude, you're working too hard at this relationship from the looks of it. Honestly you need some alone time to see what you really are looking for in a woman. People will never change, not you, not your GF, nobody changes. Rather than try to change yourself or your GF into something they are not, it's best just to part ways and maybe try to salvage a friendship out of it in the long run.

lodievo209
07-09-2008, 11:13 AM
:? Good luck I guess I went throught the same shit for 6 years and almost got married to the lady!!!! Always giving and never getting anything in return. And of course she wanted to be friends and try to work things out, cause she knew no one would treat her like I did and never have to give to anything in return. Just hope you thought things out and know what your doing.

Daniel
07-09-2008, 11:45 AM
:? Good luck I guess I went throught the same shit for 6 years and almost got married to the lady!!!! Always giving and never getting anything in return. And of course she wanted to be friends and try to work things out, cause she knew no one would treat her like I did and never have to give to anything in return. Just hope you thought things out and know what your doing.


wow that sounds exactly like what's going on with me.

:(

well basically, i feel pretty bitter about the whole situation. I feel resentment at how i was treated, and I've been trying to work things out with her. Last night she said some things that really pissed me off and brought a lot of my buried feelings to the surface again.

Then she found out that kissed this other girl during our time apart and that I lied to her and told her nothing happened...

I honestly don't feel remorse for what I did. Is that wrong? I just think my bitterness and resentment overshadow my feelings of remorse so much that right now the relationship just won't work.

If we were to ever make it work again, I think I need to be able to deal with these issues, not lie to her, and to actually feel sorry for being with someone so soon after we broke up.

Maybe one day it will happen. For now, I think imma save monies and try to get to 300awhp.

dabaysevo
07-09-2008, 11:53 AM
I think you trying to get back with your GF is you looking for a reason to have the last word. Honestly just let her go and don't look back, I know it seems hard, but in the long run it is healthier for both you and her. The fact that at the end of your last post you are still even leaving a possibility about getting back with her shows that you are having a hard time trying to adjust with the fact that it's best that you be single. It's hard knowing you don't have that sure thing at home anymore, but you have to do it.

runnerupbeauty
07-11-2008, 10:40 AM
You kissed another girl while you guys were APART. You shouldn't have lied about it but at the same time she really has no reason to be mad at you.. she wasn't your girlfriend.

I think you should go out and "find yourself." You seem very back & forth about the decision of staying with her which means you might just want her for comfort but deep inside you know you don't actually want to be with her. Try to focus on other things.. and don't have hopes about her being in your future because chances are, you'll probably be moved on or with someone else.

lodievo209
07-11-2008, 11:31 AM
wow that sounds exactly like what's going on with me.

:(

well basically, i feel pretty bitter about the whole situation. I feel resentment at how i was treated, and I've been trying to work things out with her. Last night she said some things that really pissed me off and brought a lot of my buried feelings to the surface again.

Then she found out that kissed this other girl during our time apart and that I lied to her and told her nothing happened...

I honestly don't feel remorse for what I did. Is that wrong? I just think my bitterness and resentment overshadow my feelings of remorse so much that right now the relationship just won't work.

If we were to ever make it work again, I think I need to be able to deal with these issues, not lie to her, and to actually feel sorry for being with someone so soon after we broke up.

Maybe one day it will happen. For now, I think imma save monies and try to get to 300awhp.


No why should you feel bad you guys weren't together so Its ok, but yeah you should just concentrate on yourself and If in the future things work out, then they work out.

YankInCali
07-11-2008, 01:11 PM
Daniel, move on. You both need time apart if you're going to at least be friends in the future but you're both too emotionally unstable right now. Like the others said above, take time to find yourself, where u want to go, who u want to be.

Yeah, u two were apart when u kissed that other girl & there's nothing wrong with that. But to think that wouldnt matter if u tried to work things out, especially after so short of a time & u being the initiator to break things off is honestly naive. Think if u were her how would u react?

Move on bro, life is too short. I see too many good people waste their lives after lost causes. You were the one to break it off. Here's quote from Robert DeNiro's character in the movie Ronin, "When there's doubt, there is no doubt."

sprytsi
07-15-2008, 09:21 PM
You have a lot of deep hurt still and are trying to make it work. You need to focus on YOU right now and work that out. Having her drag you right back into the same shit doesn't help and just sets you back.

If you figure out what you want and it includes her, then go for it. Kissing a girl when you are separated is fine, she should have expected it and it helps in healing :)

Are you sure you aren't dating my needy ex? She said I CHEATED on her when I found a f'buddy after I dumped her ass (weeks after I dumped her). Best thing I ever did, she couldn't get further away from me.

Go find some cheap women (no STDs) and have some fun.

dabaysevo
07-15-2008, 09:36 PM
You have a lot of deep hurt still and are trying to make it work. You need to focus on YOU right now and work that out. Having her drag you right back into the same shit doesn't help and just sets you back.

If you figure out what you want and it includes her, then go for it. Kissing a girl when you are separated is fine, she should have expected it and it helps in healing :)

Are you sure you aren't dating my needy ex? She said I CHEATED on her when I found a f'buddy after I dumped her ass (weeks after I dumped her). Best thing I ever did, she couldn't get further away from me.

Go find some cheap women (no STDs) and have some fun.


Do these cheap women include a trip to a strip club? If so count me in.

e8
07-20-2008, 03:25 AM
time to move on.

but i also don't think kissing another girl within the context of your situation was the best of moves. it's TECHNICALLY, "okay", but just think about it... was it the best thing to do considering your current state? probably not.

midEVO
07-20-2008, 10:28 PM
plenty of fish in the sea.

evosti
09-15-2008, 01:20 AM
ya fuck I agree. I had a girl tell me she didn't want to see me a month ago and I was like oh ok. Bam no worries hear. Shortly after I slept with a milf. So think of the plus sides.

Daniel
09-15-2008, 09:40 AM
yeah i can see the pro's.

its been a crazy past few months.

it's been on and off with her and i don't want to cry wolf again... but as of last thurs, i think this time its over for good.

sigh. im just sick of this emotional rollercoaster.

sprytsi
09-15-2008, 12:10 PM
yeah i can see the pro's.

its been a crazy past few months.

it's been on and off with her and i don't want to cry wolf again... but as of last thurs, i think this time its over for good.

sigh. im just sick of this emotional rollercoaster.


then stop getting on and off the rollercoaster, you already rode her and you know you aren't much for that ride.

TcJayLee
09-15-2008, 06:38 PM
Mama always said, Love is like a box of chocolates, you never know wut ya gonna get.

TougeGod7
09-16-2008, 12:15 AM
do what i did. find a girl who is better in every way :D

sprytsi
09-16-2008, 09:13 AM
do what i did. find a girl who is better in every way <b> then f' her brains out and post it online</b>


fixed?

TcJayLee
09-16-2008, 09:31 AM
^ That would be the ultimate payback. Like this guy did. www.taylorbow.com

Daniel
09-16-2008, 11:50 AM
haha, i remember her...

someone hook me up with a cute girl.

slimdatwelve209
09-16-2008, 01:19 PM
^ That would be the ultimate payback. Like this guy did. www.taylorbow.com


yea i heard of her too but the whole thing is fake and her name not even taylorbow i forgot i guess that how you get audience

TougeGod7
09-16-2008, 10:12 PM
do what i did. find a girl who is better in every way <b> then f' her brains out and post it online</b>


fixed?


lol :D i need to buy a camera :D

unreal89
09-16-2008, 10:35 PM
dude go out more often... meet some new girls and try to get her out of your head...

but then again that was 4 years of your life... suks bro ive been dating my gf for almost 3 years and theres been the ups and downs... talking and understanding eachother helps

unless shes some stuck up bitch then its not even worth it

hope everything turns out well

overdrive
09-18-2008, 11:33 AM
do what i did. find a girl who is better in every way :D


It's easier said than done bro. LOL!

Not all girls out there are better in every way. Only a tiny fraction are like what you've described.

Anways, some girls may be hot as hell, but a bitch on the inside. Some may be nerdy as hell, but a terror in bed. Some may have all the qualities I mentioned (hot as hell hell, nerdy, and a terror in bed) wrapped into one, but where can you find someone like that nowadays? It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

TougeGod7
09-18-2008, 08:53 PM
do what i did. find a girl who is better in every way :D


It's easier said than done bro. LOL!

Not all girls out there are better in every way. Only a tiny fraction are like what you've described.

Anways, some girls may be hot as hell, but a bitch on the inside. Some may be nerdy as hell, but a terror in bed. Some may have all the qualities I mentioned (hot as hell hell, nerdy, and a terror in bed) wrapped into one, but where can you find someone like that nowadays? It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.



i guess i'm good at finding needles :D

chuynh207
12-28-2008, 02:56 AM
unless you already got a new g/f or are working on getting one, I suggest reading up on "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and getting on the Bay Area PUA Lairs.... unless you already know about this stuff or are already doing it, I suggest learning NOW.

Trust me, women out here in the Bay are A LOT easier to pick up on... Women in Hawaii are HORRIBLE to pick up on, cuz a lot of them like the "local" guys... u kno, the ones w/no money, shitty car, still livin off of mom and dad...