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Thread: Phone Sex - Actually go to end of 1st page of thread to read some funny stuff

  1. #21

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    ROFL!!!! whered you find those?!?!?!
    -Dick Pound

  2. #22

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
    J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
    Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
    J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
    Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
    J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
    Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
    J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
    Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
    J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
    Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
    J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
    Partner6: It likes that.
    J-Dogg: aight.
    Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
    J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
    Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
    J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
    Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
    J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
    Partner6: WTF?!
    J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
    Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...
    J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
    Partner6: You dipshit.
    J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
    J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
    Stockish...

    The difference between successful people and other people is that they do things that are smart...I'm fortunate to have some good successful friends to learn from..

  3. #23

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    VictimX_27: Hi there!
    cheesedog: HEYA!
    VictimX_27: What u up 2?
    cheesedog: Nice English.
    cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
    VictimX_27: Get fucked
    cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
    cheesedog: What's your name?
    VictimX_27: Whats yours?
    cheesedog: I asked you first.
    VictimX_27: I asked you second
    cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
    VictimX_27: huh
    cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
    cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
    VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
    cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
    VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
    cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
    VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
    VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
    cheesedog: Yes it is
    VictimX_27: Very handsome
    cheesedog: Thanks
    VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
    cheesedog: Fuck you.
    VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
    VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
    cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
    VictimX_27: Yeah
    cheesedog: What do you look like?
    cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
    VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
    cheesedog: Why not?
    VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
    cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
    VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
    cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
    cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
    VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
    cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
    VictimX_27: Nahhh
    cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
    VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
    cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
    cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
    VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
    cheesedog: Why not?
    VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
    cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
    VictimX_27: You don't even know me
    cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
    VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
    cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
    cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
    VictimX_27: You don't understand
    cheesedog: Is it that bad?
    VictimX_27: YESSSSS
    cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
    cheesedog: She is the bomb!
    cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
    VictimX_27: Wheezy?
    cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
    VictimX_27: Who is that?
    cheesedog: George's wife.
    VictimX_27: Who is george
    cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
    cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf?
    VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
    cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
    VictimX_27: wut?
    cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
    VictimX_27: Should I?
    cheesedog: Yes.
    VictimX_27: Well I don't.
    cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
    VictimX_27: huhhh?
    cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
    VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
    cheesedog: Hold on a second
    cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
    VictimX_27: Thats her?
    cheesedog: Yep
    VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
    cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
    VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
    cheesedog: What's funny?
    VictimX_27: u r
    cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
    VictimX_27: me 2
    cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
    VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
    cheesedog: Never
    VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
    cheesedog: ???
    VictimX_27: I'm very white
    cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
    VictimX_27: LOL
    cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
    VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
    cheesedog: really?
    VictimX_27: I'm an albino
    cheesedog: a what?
    VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
    cheesedog: I've heard the word before
    VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
    VictimX_27: So I'm all white
    cheesedog: This is bullshit
    VictimX_27: I'm serious!
    VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
    cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
    VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
    cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
    VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
    cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
    VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
    cheesedog: Ok
    VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
    cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
    VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
    cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
    cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
    cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
    VictimX_27: Thank u
    cheesedog: No problem
    cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
    VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
    cheesedog: Yes
    VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
    VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
    cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
    VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
    cheesedog: I'm serious
    VictimX_27: We'll see.
    cheesedog: Yes we will.
    VictimX_27: Bye for now!
    cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
    VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

    About 3 hours later...

    VictimX_27: HEY!
    cheesedog: Hello there
    VictimX_27: I'm back
    cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
    VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
    cheesedog: Interesting
    VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
    cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
    VictimX_27: LOL
    cheesedog: Is that a yes?
    VictimX_27: Could be
    VictimX_27:
    cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
    cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
    cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
    VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
    cheesedog: Why?
    VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
    cheesedog: What do you mean?
    VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
    cheesedog: Of course not.
    cheesedog: I like you.
    VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
    cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
    cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
    cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
    VictimX_27: WAIT!
    cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
    VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
    VictimX_27: Like what I like?
    cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
    VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
    cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
    VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
    VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
    cheesedog: ok
    VictimX_27: I'm back
    cheesedog: np
    VictimX_27: thank you
    cheesedog: So what do you like?
    VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
    cheesedog: Where?
    VictimX_27: Everywhere
    cheesedog: Any place in particular?
    VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
    cheesedog: tell me
    VictimX_27: on my clit
    cheesedog: OK!
    cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
    VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
    cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
    cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
    cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
    cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
    VictimX_27: Uh huh
    cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
    cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
    cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy
    VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
    cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind
    cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
    VictimX_27: yessss
    cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
    cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
    cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
    VictimX_27: ???
    cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
    cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
    cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
    VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!
    cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
    cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
    cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
    cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
    VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
    cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
    cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
    cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
    VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
    cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
    cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
    cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
    VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
    cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
    VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU
    cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
    VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!
    cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
    VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
    cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
    cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
    cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
    cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
    cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
    VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
    cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
    VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>
    Stockish...

    The difference between successful people and other people is that they do things that are smart...I'm fortunate to have some good successful friends to learn from..

  4. #24

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    tekubus2002: hello
    tekubus2002: are you nice girl
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes! A/S/L?
    tekubus2002: hello
    tekubus2002: i am not your age
    tekubus2002: some older
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That's ok!
    tekubus2002: i am 28
    tekubus2002: not too good for girl like you
    tekubus2002: you are living in america
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
    tekubus2002: i have visa for to come and stay
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Where do you live?
    tekubus2002: i am now living in london
    tekubus2002: but i am from africa my birth
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you are a black man?
    tekubus2002: i have many place in my heart for night gorl like you
    tekubus2002: i am brown
    tekubus2002: of color
    tekubus2002: but do not have ugly face as do some
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am glad to hear that!
    tekubus2002: it is ferturs they say
    tekubus2002: some do not like the brown in the face
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Why not? Because it looks like poop?
    tekubus2002: do you like ?
    tekubus2002: some say cake some say poop
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I like it!
    tekubus2002: i say cake
    tekubus2002: ithink you are nice and special
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Thank you!
    tekubus2002: for me to have as one day to be a wofe
    tekubus2002: or maybe a nice friend
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really? I would love to be your wife, if you are kind and gentle.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you do to win my love?
    tekubus2002: what would you have me do my prince ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me!
    tekubus2002: i would make you a bed of the roses and lay on you then
    tekubus2002: so that you would feel pretty and warm
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You would lay on me?
    tekubus2002: ok
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Like a man-blanket?
    tekubus2002: i said so ok
    tekubus2002: yes
    tekubus2002: a blanked made of from me
    tekubus2002: you liek this concep ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be other types of furniture for me?
    tekubus2002: if you had no furniture
    tekubus2002: perhaps
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be a sofa when I wanted to sit and watch TV?
    tekubus2002: i do not make proper otomon
    tekubus2002: if it please you to sit i will be stand for your pleasure
    tekubus2002: as long as you become in love and happy for me
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That would be lovely!
    tekubus2002: i know this
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If it was dark, would you be a lamp for me?
    tekubus2002: i do not lisht from my body but perhaps if i had a light in my hand
    tekubus2002: or a bulb
    tekubus2002: i could make less darkness
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you put a bulb in your mouth...
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then an electrical cord up your ass.
    tekubus2002: i have seen this work
    tekubus2002: on the television
    tekubus2002: maybe
    tekubus2002: on the uncle fester i have seen
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you could be a whole living room set of furniture for me!
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You have made me so happy.
    tekubus2002: but i dio not know if this is something that is scientific
    tekubus2002: i am glad you have become happy now
    tekubus2002: when will we greet
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are coming in March?
    tekubus2002: i have a apointment in new york in march i will maybe see you if you like me to be with you
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am in California.
    tekubus2002: its ok
    tekubus2002: i can come there too
    tekubus2002: from train goes there
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you come I want you to do something special for me.
    tekubus2002: are you living with parents ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes
    tekubus2002: you can come out from the house to greeting at the train someday
    tekubus2002: we can go exploring your country's side
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What I want you to do is this:
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to rent a hotel room.
    tekubus2002: ok am listening
    tekubus2002: go head
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I want you to be all the furniture in the hotel room.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then we will make love.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you understand?
    tekubus2002: at one time ?
    tekubus2002: yes i do
    tekubus2002: but only one perhapos
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It needs to be everything.
    tekubus2002: and then become other and then other
    tekubus2002: i am not so decorative i think
    tekubus2002: but we will find a way
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want to sit on you as a chair and watch TV - which is you pretending to be the TV - at the same time as you the refrigerator keeps my food cold.
    tekubus2002: i want to try
    tekubus2002: but i do not know scientist to keep cold
    tekubus2002: but i have a warm body foor keeping your feet wart
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I think you can do anything!
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You seem so smart!
    tekubus2002: and your vagina warm to the touch maybe
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Maybe!
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you and i would make love?
    tekubus2002: i am so smart and you can learn from me as i teaching you things of that nature
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: okay!
    tekubus2002: would you be able to appreciate this ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you teach me?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have always had a fantasy about making love to a bedside table.
    tekubus2002: we have many sexual customs in my country wich we find sex
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me about some of them.
    tekubus2002: do you have circumsised ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Of course! You can buy furniture uncircumcised (natural) or circumcised (veneer).
    tekubus2002: yes exactly
    tekubus2002: we have one women who are not
    tekubus2002: they are considered hrony
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh really?
    tekubus2002: and we have ones that have this procedure
    tekubus2002: and they are good wives
    tekubus2002: not sluts
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Interesting
    tekubus2002: it is not painful
    tekubus2002: ony with one pinch only
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So I should have that done?
    tekubus2002: if you wish to become a good bride and sit with no regard
    tekubus2002: yes !
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you act as all the furniture in a hotel room of love I will gladly let you cut the hell out of my cooter.
    tekubus2002: this is a good measure
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sounds fair.
    tekubus2002: and you will love me more for this is my custom
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But before you do, I want to use you as EVERY piece of furniture.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my ice machine.
    tekubus2002: as such ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my closet.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my toilet.
    tekubus2002: i do not know if i can become things like irioning board
    tekubus2002: this becomes hot to the surface
    tekubus2002: toilet?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes
    tekubus2002: i think you might now want that
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!
    tekubus2002: go to the bathroom on my body?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: IN your body.
    tekubus2002: oh
    tekubus2002: well ok so it is
    tekubus2002: it is only one sacrifice for my love and nature
    tekubus2002: what would you wna t to do with my penis ?
    tekubus2002: as i am very stong in the penis
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really!
    tekubus2002: oh yes
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I would like your penis to be furniture too.
    tekubus2002: how is this
    tekubus2002: while it was elongate ?
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Either way...
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When it is elongate I would like it to be a curtain rod.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And while it is flaccid I would like it to be a doorstop.
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: In the hotel room.
    tekubus2002: it is useful in this manner
    tekubus2002: as long as it can be it can be only many things
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I understand!
    tekubus2002: good
    tekubus2002: it can not be some things
    tekubus2002: but others yes
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What can it not be?
    tekubus2002: it cannot be a devining rod
    tekubus2002: i have not had much success with finding water while it is elongate
    tekubus2002: only if while i urinate in the direction of my face
    a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you do that often?

    Stockish...

    The difference between successful people and other people is that they do things that are smart...I'm fortunate to have some good successful friends to learn from..

  5. #25

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    Yo nebo can you stickey these things? I took hella long to copy and paste and i had to wait 15secs in between, thats all of the ones I can find lol...enjoy.
    Stockish...

    The difference between successful people and other people is that they do things that are smart...I'm fortunate to have some good successful friends to learn from..

  6. #26

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    bump damn it, i want everyone to read these cybers...i LOLed ..
    Stockish...

    The difference between successful people and other people is that they do things that are smart...I'm fortunate to have some good successful friends to learn from..

  7. #27

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahahha ahhahaahhahahaa
    Proud Supporter of Speed Element and Leo aka Detail Addict


  8. #28

    Default Re: Phone Sex

    HAHAH!!!! those were fuckin funny. Â*whered you find these?!?
    -Dick Pound

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In the Pie Oven
    Posts
    4,272

    Default Re: Phone Sex - Actually go to end of 1st page of thread to read some funny stuff

    sticky'd

    nebo
    EVO X
    WORKS P2 Flash 294WHP/299WTQ
    WORKS Drop in Filter
    WORKS GFB
    WORKS Rear Sway Bar
    HKS Legamax
    HKS IC Pipe
    KW Variant 3
    5Zigen ZR+520 18x9.5 265/35
    I live my life a quarter-pounder at a time. And for those 500 calories or more, im free. I need FRIESSSS! Two of them. The big ones. Oh, and i need them tonight. Youre lucky the double shot of BBQ sauce didnt blow a seam on your nugget box. There she is, 2 pounds of pure beef. My dad ate it in 9.0 seconds flat. Check it out, its like this. If i lose, winner takes my happy meal. But if i win, I take the burger and the toy. To some people, thats more important.

  10. #30

    Default Re: Phone Sex - Actually go to end of 1st page of thread to read some funny stuff

    woot thanks nebo, I was screwing around one day with cybering and one of my buddies showed me it, so, I wanted to show everyone in the world it too
    Stockish...

    The difference between successful people and other people is that they do things that are smart...I'm fortunate to have some good successful friends to learn from..

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