so again, between me and my gf comes in a BREAK. now these things suck ass because its always on my mind and i cant help but think about it. it affects my performance at work and it affects my day because thats all i think about. like for instance, yesterday i was workin on a car at the shop and i started the damn thing with no oil. of course something thats a big NO NO!!! luckily it didnt seize up or anything and the customer wasnt paying attention to it ( rich ass san ramon people and their money and women.. such a bothersome to work with ). anyways, one of the guys working was like WTF!!! i didnt add no oil to this car yet. i was like OHH SHIT MY BAD and i just walked away and sparked a cigarette when another of my co-workers was doing a fuel filter service. another big NO NO!!! he was like, OMG light that shit somewhere else!!! you wanna die or something??!??!?!
i wasnt myself and i wasnt thinking straight. too much of my mind is stuck on my gf and how she wants to let me go. and for a time like this to come around, it just hurts me and i can stop the feeling. today i tried talking to her, but she didnt say shit to me. even yesterday. she needed help because she had no gas in her car. so of course, i came out to help her in milpitas. i handed her 100 but she didnt take it and said that she would just rather get money from her mom or something like that. i was like, SO I CAME OUT HERE JUST TO GET TURNED DOWN? that hella pissed me off and it really made me sad. for the fact that i tried to help her out and she turns it down. that just hurts.
right now, i feel as if its just about that time to let it go, but then again i dont wanna let it go because i know it will kill me inside and then i might do something that i know ill regret doing.
HELP ME SOMEONE!!! any advice anyone?