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Thread: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

  1. #11

    Default Joke of the Day: How 2 get out of a speeding ticket

    A bit of humor...(Don't try this at home!) :lol:

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?
    Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer: The car is stolen?
    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
    Driver: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
    Driver: Sure. Here it is.

    It was valid.

    Captain: Who's car is this?
    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

    The driver owned the car.

    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

    Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
    Driver: No problem.

    Trunk is opened; no body.

    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

  2. #12

    Default How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    DUH!!! DRIVE SLOW hehehe!! Na I know its hard when you got such a fast car Cuz Ill be honest I cant help it when I am in My pride and joy My EVO....especially when people try to test you :lol:

    <br />Muahz =*
    <br />Mizz_Evo916

  3. #13

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    I was told this by a reserve officer that I work with. When the officer asks you if you are in a hurry or if you are late for work your excuse should always be no. If you answer yes to either of those questions or other baited questions you will have a harder time fighting a ticket in court.

  4. #14

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    10 things to do when getting pulled over by a cop. humor

    Most all of us have been there. We look up in the rear view mirror to witness the seizure-inducing flash of red and blue lights (or sometimes just blue). The adrenaline starts pumping and our stomachs turn over. We're already asking questions of ourselves before we even face the officer's.

    What did I do?
    Why won't this flatfoot give me 25mph over like all the other cops?
    What if he finds the kilo of heroin in the glove box?
    What if he finds the two Peruvian belly-dancers in the trunk?
    Did I pay my insurance last month?
    If I slip him a 50(cent CD, pirated), will he let me go?

    Well, here are ten tips to make sure that both you and the officer(s) have a fun, somewhat safe and pleasurable experience:

    1) Before and up until the officer approaches the vehicle, make erratic and sudden movements. Reach under your seat, the passenger seat and throw loose papers and other items around. This lets the officer know that this will be an exciting stop and that you have something to hide. Because we all know you do.

    2) Refuse to turn the vehicle off. When the officer first approaches your side window, act completely startled and off-guard. This is the proper time to scream, cover your face and/or throw something else. Rev the motor, too; cops live for pursuits. It validates all their hard training.

    3) Under no circumstances do you roll your window down. You can and should also turn your stereo up to full volume. When they instruct you to roll the window down, lock the doors and act like you can't hear them, because you can't. Cops hate cooperation and compliance and doing the opposite will let them know that you take shit from no man, badge or not.

    4) Turn the stereo down and barely open your window. Ask to see a current driver's license, social security card, birth certificate and proof of legal residence. The DMV does it; why can't you? Rev the motor again as he replies to drown out his sorry excuses as to why he won't. If they're showing perturbation, then you're well on your way to being... well, on your way.

    5) Scream obscenities and threats to your imaginary children in the back seat while completely ignoring the officer. If there are real children in the back seat, this tactic will be even more effective. If the children are imaginary, pretend to yank one up front and beat them about the head and shoulders or stab them with a sharp object. Remember, all cops are child abusers, so this will make them relate to you.

    6) Turn the car off and immediately start it again. Do this repeatedly while looking at your watch, showing it to the officer and tapping the face of it. This lets them know that you're a busy person and have no time for pesky laws. Alternatively, put the car in gear and roll forward a few feet, stop and laugh hysterically, then whine about missing a day spa appointment. Do this several times.

    7) Should the officer draw their weapon on you, roll your window down, move very swiftly and put your finger in the barrel. The Bugs Bunny nostalgia this induces in the officer will make them more sympathetic to your plight.

    Tips 1-7 are inclusive to each other and can be used in many different combinations. Tips 8-10 are independent but can still be used with many of these tips. Improvisation is the key to making sure the officer will always remember you.

    8) If you are alone in the vehicle and the officer hasn't approached yet, climb into any seat but the driver's without leaving the car. When the officer approaches, act like you're asleep but rouse suddenly and violently when he knocks on the window. This should initially confuse the officer and also give them a good scare. Cops love scary, confusing movies.

    9) Wait until he approaches the vehicle then speed away. In the middle of the ensuing pursuit, pull into a gas station and quickly start to pump fuel into your vehicle with a lit cigarette in your mouth. Make sure to spill plenty on the ground and scream at the officer(s) to stay back or you'll "torch this motherfucker".

    10) Immediately after being pulled over, jump out of the vehicle and start to run away at a full sprint. After 100 feet or so, stop running, turn around, give the officer a big smile and make fake guns with your index fingers. Often, a "Gotcha!" is just what the officer needed to brighten up his dull day. If he tackles, tasers or pepper sprays you, he's just a cocksucker with no sense of humor and you should launch a completely unfounded Internal Affairs investigation on him when you get out of jail. This investigation, whether founded or not, will always be on his record and ensure that he remains a lowly beat cop for the rest of his law enforcement career. He could even be demoted to prisoner transport, but one day he'll look back on it and laugh...

    ...while standing over your freshly strangled corpse. Another IA investigation will follow and you'll STILL get the last laugh.
    Tune by: Karebear Powa<br />SpeedElement

  5. #15

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    or... you can do what i told ryan... hire a public defender... its free............. =)
    -Ryan (the noob post whore)<br />in addition to PANGES&amp;#039; guide to post whoring,<br />it is also acceptable to quote yourself and give +1.<br />Breaking up your post into 4 different parts is also acceptable.<br />

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Hercules/Santa Cruz

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    haha actually they have to be appointed by the judge.
    WW Lancer Evolution IX

  7. #17

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    I've used the tips in the first posts... and luckily it worked for me, drove away with a warning

  8. #18

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    ^ good to know they work.

    That would be $4.50, we accept Visa, MasterCard and Cash. No checks and No Money Orders.
    We also accept Paypal [email protected].

    Thank You For Shopping and Trying out our Product.

    :lol: j/k

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Daly City / Pacifica

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    Ugh, I tried the stuff mentioned here.
    Then I tried to fight the ticket via written declaration to plead not guilty.
    I lost, now I gotta pay the ticket and go to traffic school.
    I'm bad luck with po-po.
    - Rob

    WLD a.k.a. Wilson LOL Disease - there's currently no cure for this.

    Learn from your mistake: Start off with spin-outs then power slides.

  10. #20

    Default Re: How to avoid or find your way out of speeding tickets..

    easiest way is not to drive too fast, and don't use a radar detector.

    I have been pulled over 3 times in the evo, well over the speed limit, and have walked away with mistrminor (spelling) infractions.

    These suggestions do help, but don't challenge the officer. Suck it up, take responsibility for what you did, and never lose your temper in front of the officer.
    sub<br />b{[@b=(abs||No,!!++$_,of,beer),on,the,wall]}print<br />@{+b},\[email protected],\nTake one down, pass it around,\[email protected]{+b}.\n<br />for-pop||-99..-1

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